They always say “sell yourself” when you’re applying for a job, but we all know it goes both ways. While most job descriptions tend to be very specific (“experience with Java, Ruby, and Python” or “2+ years experience selling Software/SaaS”), marketing job descriptions tend to be… well, blurrier.

Marketers love selling a concept, and it’s no different when we’re writing job descriptions. We can get a little carried away with how we describe the requirements — like what does “great culture fit” actually mean and how does one even prepare for that?

After you’ve been in the business for a while, it’s easy to see things how they really are. So, let’s dig in: what are marketing job descriptions really saying?

1. “SEO This”


SEO? Like, it’s hard, or something?


2. The Write Stuff


Have a cousin who works at You’re hired.


3. Technically Speaking


Biggest tip you’ll be given: “explain this incredibly complex product like you’re explaining it to your mom.” Gee, thanks.


4. Jack-Of-All-Tradeshows


Hey — in 3 months, you can be our Director of Marketing.


5. C.M.O(mg)


First task: write our mission statement. Because we don’t know what we do here either.


6. The Social Butterfly


3 months later: “why hasn’t Justin Bieber retweeted us yet?”


7. Pro-Tip: The Barista’s Name is Dave


Phi Beta Kappa at Northwestern? Okay, mail these 6,000 envelopes….now you’re a marketer!

Marketing organizations aren’t the only people writing these sorts of job descriptions, but we are really good at it. Sure, maybe we use some imaginative language to describe what we do. But in the end, we’re just looking for the right people to fit the positions we have available.

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  • Lisa

    Carefully crafted and insightful. What I’m really saying: This post was LOL hilarious because it is soo true!


If Marketing Headlines Were Honest, They'd Sound Like This

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