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11 Truths About Being a Digital Marketer

Let’s face it: marketing is a cult.

When you’re a marketer, you jump at the chance to talk about the latest Apple ad, or the newest marketing technology. You preach the gospels of the movement. You defend it. You complain about it.

And once you realize you’ve been brainwashed, you don’t fight it  — you just accept it.

And… you probably write a blog post about it. Because #marketing.

1. You’re offended when people make fun of bad marketing campaigns.

Sure, it’s not funny, a little forced, and unoriginal — but you try selling jacuzzis and making it sound cool.

2. You make fun of bad marketing campaigns.


This jacuzzi commercial was awful.

3. You forget that most marketing terms have other meanings, too.

Oh wait a minute – “content” means happy? I mean, I guess content makes me happy. Oh! You mean… I get it now!

3. You’ve used the term “branding” in regards to your personal life.

Sure, we could go on a trip to the woods, but a trip to the mountains is more in line with my brand aesthetic. I mean, just think of the Instagram pictures! My influencer status will just go through the roof…

*passes out from too much marketing*

4. You finally came up with the perfect response to: “So, you just, like, play on Facebook and Twitter all day? That must be easy.”

Yes, that’s exactly what I do. And I’m damn good at it.

5. You’re more excited to get retweeted by Larry Kim than by Brad Pitt.

I mean, it’s LARRY KIM.

6. You find it impossible not to speak in hashtags.

Come on, try NOT to. #justsaying #itoldyou #marketing #SEO

7. When someone tries to sell you something and you spend the whole time mentally critiquing their messaging.

Oh come on, you went in for the close way too quick. What about my buyer’s journey, dude?!

8. You start using /giphy in real life.

Well how else are you supposed to explain your feelings? Through words?

9. You make fun of other departments for using buzzwords.

Synergy. Big Data. Low-hanging fruit. Can we stop making these phrases a thing? (Cough, cough SALES)

10. You use acronyms and jargon like everyone knows what they mean.

I know this sounds crazy but not everyone knows what SEO is.

11. You’re constantly proclaiming 2017 to be the year of _______.

Video? ABM campaigns? Snapchat? Can we just agree that this is the year of everything?


And sure, marketing may have made us all crazy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 2017 is the year of marketing!

8 Responses to 11 Truths About Being a Digital Marketer

  1. Megan Krause says:

    Brittany! So funny… so true… great stuff 🙂

  2. Chevelle Garnett says:

    LOL! I’d like to add one more – When you catch yourself shushing people because you’re trying to hear a commercial’s messaging 🙋

  3. Lol, only if your a noob to DM!

  4. Katrina Finkernagel says:

    12. You proceeded to share this in the #marketing channel on Slack after reading…

  5. Mckenna Migovych says:

    Great post. Many people think that marketing online is lame but after
    reading this one, I doubt they’ll change their minds. Keep it up .

  6. Erik Denning says:

    What a terrible career. Soulless and manipulative. Blech.

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